Title: Desire
Author: Eriu Claire
Email: eriuclaire@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shaun Cassidy, Fox, Universal, and the whole kit and kaboodle!
Summary: Thoughts going on inside Conor during the events in Catlin O' Connor's Roar Fic "Need"
Rating: NC-17
Feedback: Hell Yeah!
Author's Notes: When I read Catlin O' Connor's "Need" I felt that having Conor's take would be perfect. I thought about "The Spear Of Destiny" and the darkside to Conor's personality it had opened. What if it had lasting affects? Would this be how Catlin and his relationship would of turned? Made a great theme for a Fic. I wrote this fic while listening to Mors Syphilitica's song "A Lullaby Of Sorts." You can go to their page and scroll down to the 1sec "lofi" download to listen to the whole song HERE... words are below.
 

A LULLABY OF SORTS

Dear, do rest your thought now
Love, sleep wants to hold you
Dreams call you
Dreams taunt you
Sleep my love
Peace my love
Dreams call you
Dreams haunt you
Love, please close your
Love, please close your eyes
Dear, do stop your thoughts now
Love, sleep wants to own you
Dreams frighten you
Dreams beckon you
Sleep my love
Fight my love
Dreams hurt you
Dreams end you
Love, please close your
Love, please close your mind
Dear, give up the fight now
Love, sleep will consume you
Dreams rip at you
Dreams strangle you
Sleep, my love
Sleep, my love
Please, please awake
Never will awake
It is just a dream
You will rise in morn


 
I can sense she is near. She has heard my twisted callings. Visions that beckon her to me nearly every night now. I desire her to slave herself to me, but I wish she wouldn't serve me anymore.

She could just let this fire consume me and it would end it all. It need not be this way.

It has to be this way.

I can feel the raging fire now.... all that has been ripped from me chars my heart to the blackness of an abyss.

I'm falling.

She is here now and I can feel her energy surrounding me and pulling at my rage to find her. And I do. All I can do is watch myself do things I never thought I would ever do. Expecially to her. But she offers herself to me like a sacrifice, as if I was a god. Her god. What is it she wants from me that makes her do this? I bruse her insides, I know I hurt her and I suck her soul dry. Can't someone stop this?

Please, no one stop this.

Here it comes. I grip and I release her soul. She blends violently into me till I can no longer tell where I begin and she ends. She sucks away my rage, my sorrow, my loss. And fills me with her love and light.

A strength to go on another day.

She has gone to the depths of my soul and she finds the trip strangely exhilarating, I can see it in her eyes. The quivering she does now beneath me tells me she has surfaced.

As I try to calm my breathing, the fire cooled, she smiles at me. How much longer can she do this for me without finally losing herself in me? How much longer will she want to? How does she know how to heal me?

My Savior.

Now as she kisses me tenderly I can see the redness of her skin were the fire in my heart has burned her, hurt her. Guilt rears its ugly head and the tears edge escape now. She sees it and she says she loves me and it is all right.

How can this be right?

And it will never be right or wrong and as I watch her go I know my desire will call her again and she will give freely and I will take.

She would sacrifice herself for me and I would die without her.
 

 ~*~The End~*~