A Case Of You
Just before our love got lost you said
I am as constant as a northern star and I said
Constant in the darkness, where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar
On the back of a carton coaster
In the blue t.v screen light
I drew a map of Canada Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice

But you're in my blood like holy wine
Taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you darlin
And still I'd be on my feet I would still be on my feet

I am a lonely painter I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil and I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me you said love is touching souls
Surely you touched mine, cause part of you pours out of me
And is lies from time to time

I met a woman she had a mouth like yours
She knew your life and your deals and your deeds
And she said
Go to him, stay with him if you can but be prepared to bleed.

<Indicates thoughts of Rogues' conscience>

It had been just over a year when he came back. I thought I was finally over him. That was until I looked up from my desk to see him standing in my doorway.

I tried to keep my face expressionless as the emotions welled-up inside me. Love, passion, fear, relief, excitement and anger. Yes anger. Over a year and not one word, not one phone call, one postcard. A lot of things had happened in that time. I'd grown, matured, moved beyond the girly crush, got on with my life. I'd finished high school, started training as one of the team with Scott and Storm, learnt to control my gift, after I'd absorbed two other people. And now I could barely fight the urge to run and hug him.

<You're not a little girl anymore Rogue. Be dignified>

So I slowly rose from my chair. I dared not go any closer for fear I'd completely lose it and start ripping his clothes off. But I had to say something.

"You're back?"

<Way to state the obvious girl>

A slight grin and I all but melt.

<Pull yourself together!>

"Aren't you glad to see me?" he whispered, crossing the room towards me. He stood right next to me, mere centimetres away, leaning over me and…shit, reading my journal that laid open on my desk. I flicked it shut, trying to look casual but he smiled again at the panic in my eyes.

<God, what did he read?>

"A few things have changed around here Logan" I stammered out, the words sounding much harder than I'd intended. For a second he looked almost hurt but then this is Wolverine and hell, he just can't come waltzing back into my life after a year of being avoided and have me throw myself at his feet.

<No matter how much you want to!>

He took my wrist in his hand, turning it to caresses my palm, his rough fingers grazing the new silk gloves. His eyes shot to mine, amused at my sharp intake of breath. "You haven't". I looked down at my hand, heat rising inside me. How DARE he? He said it with such ease, with no doubt about being right. Well damn if he thinks he can get away with that! I steadied my nerve. I moved my heavy lids to meet his puppy-dog eyes and gave him my cruellest stare. "You're wrong". The words sounding so cold I could hardly believe they came from my mouth. His face saddened and his hand dropped from mine. He looked at me for what seemed an eternity but was just a few seconds. He said nothing, just turned and left. Out of the room, down the hall and relief swept over me as his door slammed. At least he was still here.

<You showed him. It's up to him now>

Enough for one night, I changed into my short blue cotton nightgown and climbed into my bed and into a fitful sleep.

That was two days ago. I've been hibernating in my room ever since.

<Like a frightened little girl>

Storm's been wonderful as usual, sneaking me in food and gossip, telling everyone I'm writing this huge paper for her as a favour. No one suspects, though I am pretty sure Jubes and Kitty know the real reason, but they've been good enough not to hound me.

<Two days damn it! >

It's no good. I have to leave the room.

<Admit it, you want to see him. That cosy little discussion gave you a high!>

I have to go downstairs. I need an Internet address and Storm can't find it. It's in a book, in the lounge.

<Time to face the music huh?>

I creep down the side staircase and slip down the corridor towards the lounge when I hear it. Animal grunts and moody growls coming from the gym. It can only be one person.

<You have to cross the gym doorway to get to the lounge. Still want that book?>

I take a deep breath, attempting to stay calm. I peer around the crack in the door. I couldn't stand anymore. It was like my legs gave out under me. He's wearing nothing but blue jeans. TIGHT blue jeans. Bare feet, bare chest, glistening with sweat, he's ripping the shit out of a punch bag with a vicious look on his face.

<Sexual frustration if ever I saw it. And I should know!>

He moves like poetry in motion, delivering one perfect blow after another, periodically slowing down. He has an amazing body every muscle beautifully defined. I nearly lick my lips.

<Snap out of it! Stop drooling! Get the book and get back upstairs!>

I sway past the doorway praying he doesn't know I'm there. I'm kidding myself; this is Logan we're talking about. He probably knew I was coming before I did. But sure enough he lets me pass and I practically run down the hall into the lounge. It takes me a good twenty minutes to find the book. It's buried under Scott's huge flying manual, a book he still hasn't finished reading, obvious from his piloting techniques.

I tiptoe back down the corridor, my bare feet slipping on the polished wooden floor. As I come nearer to the gym horror overtakes me. It's unearthly quiet. I press my back to the wall and snake my head around the frame. The room is empty.

<Shit! Where'd he go? Run!>

And that's just what I do. All the way up the stairs back to my room, nearly knocking over a confused Bobby in the process. I only realise I'm still in my nightgown as I dive into my room swinging the door shut and clicking the lock abruptly. I turn, eyes closed and lean back against the solid wood for comfort.

<Calm down>

It's a long time before I open my eyes but they immediately fall to what lies on the bed. Stark against the white embroidered bed linen lay a bunch of lush, wild, red roses tied with a black ribbon. I can't believe they are real. I pick them up, staring for a moment before lifting them to brush my nose inhaling their sweet scent. Gorgeous.

<They're just a meaningless ploy. To stop himself feeling guilty. He doesn't love you, just doesn't want to lose the little puppy that follows him around, forever at his boot heel>

I'm just a little lap dog. I throw the roses down on the bed.

<Run away>

I'm so pathetic. I slump down on the mattress, staring out of the window. It's almost dark outside.

<Run away. Give him a taste of his own medicine. He hurt us. Make him pay>

I feel suddenly empowered and leap up. I frantically pull the suitcase from under my bed, flinging it open on the mattress, knocking the roses in a flutter to the floor. I stare at them for a moment.

<He doesn't care, just run. He can't hurt you again if you run first>

Adrenaline grips me again as I pull open draws and doors searching for my favourite clothes. I sloppily grab my jewellery box but it slips from my hand, crashing to the floor, scattering rings and trinkets across my worn velvet rug. They say clumsiness is linked to your emotions. My heart stops. The dog tags. I'd put them there a month ago, a month ago today. Jubes had convinced me to put away childish things, so sure he would never return. I scoop them up, peering down at them as the shimmer in the soft light, turning the cold metal with bare fingers. Such little symbols, of him and me, nestled in the palm of my hand.

I'm so taken with the tiny things, so lost in my memories that I don't hear the footsteps outside, the lock breaking, the ragged breathing coming from my doorway. I didn't even notice he was there until his voice startles me, breaking through the calm.

"Running again?"

I tilt my head to the side and give him a slow wry grin. "I learnt it from you" I mutter turning to the dresser and the large mirror hanging above it. I try not to notice in its reflection that he's still watching me as the casually toss the tags down.

<That was a cheap shot and you know it>

I look at my reflection and play with a strand of hair. Noticing he still hadn't moved I pick up my brush running it through my hair to keep up the pretence. Still he does nothing. His shoulders are strained, his eyes glued to my feet as if he's waiting for them to move. I look back at my face.

<When did you become so old, so tired?>

I can't stand the reticence any longer. I smash the brush down on the dresser spinning around, practically panting from the questions in my head, begging to be answered, to meet his big, endless hazel eyes. He looks so bewildered I could barely bring myself to ask. "Why did you leave me? I want the truth." He doesn't answer straight away. He shifts his arms to cross them over his large, manly and still bare chest.

<Don't think about that now!>

He looks desperate to say something but like his pride won't allow it. I snap from impatience. "What Logan?"

"I couldn't bear to hurt you". Its such a low rumble, I think I've misheard, but as I open my mouth he speaks again. "I thought if I left you alone long enough you'd forget your feelings for me. I'm no good for you and I thought with me gone, you know, time would heal." I let out a strangled laugh before I can stop myself. I can't believe what I am hearing. "You are SO wrong Logan. Time doesn't heal anything. One day you just wake up and realise you've stopped crying but time doesn't heal, it just makes you used to the pain, that's all." I can feel the sting of tears already. I bite my lip as I stride to the bed, throwing more clothes into the suitcase, teeth gritting at the growing knot in my stomach. I glare at him out of the corner of my eye. He looks annoyed, but almost dumbfounded at my revelations, watching me.

"Why are you so angry with me?" the words come from him in a snarl as he turns to face me at the opposite side of the bed. I throw down my lucky lilac T-shirt. "Why? Because you deserted me. Because you never cared at all. YOU forgot ME!"

I didn't think it was possible but he lowers his voice a tone again. "I could never do that! I promise." Another broken promise? That took the biscuit! "Your promises mean nothing to me anymore!" I sneer as I fiddle insanely with two intertwined lace bras.

"They did once" he sighs.

"I was younger then, naïve, things are different now, I can-".

"You can touch."

<Shit!!!!>

My God. He knows? I can no longer breathe. I stop what I'm doing, letting my arms fall to my sides, and not daring to look up. He lets out a low growl "Why didn't you tell me, why did you hide it, what are you afraid of?" I try to answer but my voice comes out rigid and gasping "Nothing-"

<Just focus. You can control your powers, why not your emotions?>

I look up at him then. His chest rising and falling with ragged breathing, his face looks tender in the tepid glow of my bedside lamp. How I long to touch him. I can't tear my eyes from his and I start to shake. How can he do this to me? I can feel water welling up as my vision blurs. I can only see light and colour. I'm aware of him leaning over the bed, closing the distance between us. He bends his mouth to my ear, blowing hot air on my cheek. I struggle to swallow as he whispers. "You're afraid of what would happen if we could touch." It's a hard blow, the truth. I squeeze my eyes shut as something inside me breaks. Tears begin to roll.

<Be strong. Don't cry, don't let him win. It's about time HE heard some home truths. >

I let out a long breath to compose myself and lift my gaze to look at him. We're almost nose to nose, so near I swear I can feel the heat from his body. I summon all my courage as I let the words fall from my lips. "You're afraid, you're the coward." So soft, so quiet, but I know he heard me. He pulls his face away from mine. A look of sorrow emblazoned in his eyes. Sorrow that all too soon turns to frustration, then anger. His entire presence hardens as his whole body straightens and he towers over me. I am suddenly aware of how small I am in comparison and wish we'd never started this. He eyes me up and down, like a wolf eyes his prey. The way I saw him eye men in Canada before a fight. He gives me look of complete disdain as he bites out the words. "You know nothing about me."

<You have to stop him leaving!>

He's almost to the door when I say it. His fingers around the knob, the broken lock swinging, a reminder of how he quietly broke in. I don't know why I say it. I panicked. I can't stand seeing him turn his back and walk away again, the way he did on that snowy road in Canada. "Bullshit!" I yell and he turns, eyebrow raised to face me.

<Good girl!>

I lunge forward, slamming the door behind him with both arms, trapping him between the door and me. Blood is pumping through my veins, heart pounding in my ears, but there's no stopping me now, I refuse to back down. I'm Rogue now, not Marie and I can't extinguish the fire burning inside of me.

<Let him have it>

"I know NOTHING about you? Are you INSANE? Logan, you live inside my head! There is nothing you can keep from me, I own your soul and I see your nightmares! And I know what you are! I know the truth!" For a second he actually looks shocked at the outburst but comes back at me stepping forward with a snarl as he grabs my shoulders, roughly pulling me closer. "And what is the truth?" The growl is loud enough to wake the whole mansion.

<Keep going. Don't give up now!>

"The truth is YOU'RE the coward Logan. You hide behind your invincible body, you use it as a shield, thinking it will protect you from anything and everything but you're wrong. You're not indestructible and you can't hide from the world, especially not from me. You can be made of unbreakable metal and still be weak."

**SNIKT**

It happened in a second and if not for my head hitting the wall behind me, my mind wouldn't have caught up to what was happening to the rest of my body. Logan was mad. He had me standing, pinned flat against the wall, arms out at my sides. Claws extended and pushed as far into the now crumbling wall as they would go, trapping my wrists between his knuckles. His body pressed to mine, his rapid breathing causing vibrations to undulate through me. He lets out a long hiss of air as he drops his forehead to rest on my bare shoulder. I dare not move or make a sound. I just relish in the divine sensation of skin to skin. No pull, no pain and tears roll down over cheeks crimson from the screaming. He retracts the claws releasing my arms from their Christ-like position, clenching his fists and flexing his fingers before gently placing his palms on my hips. His hands are heavy on the cotton nightgown and his sweet panting blows my hair across my face, tickling the skin. He lifts his head and places a reverent kiss to my ear and murmurs "You're right."

I blink back the tears as I move my hands over his taut shoulders and enfold my arms around his neck, gathering him to me. He responds by sliding his arms around my waist. "I don't want right. I want you." I hiss. He ducks his face to the curve of my neck, nuzzling delicately against my skin. In a moment of complete rapture he bends his knees, lowering his flawless body, gliding down mine, to strengthen his grip on me as he pulls me up off the floor, my feet twitching in mid-air. He presses my body tightly to his as he walks us slowly to the bed. As he glides his heated, wet tongue across the sensitive flesh below my ear, my eyes drift shut, oblivious to the fact that the broken door has swung wide open. I run a hand through his glorious hair as he carefully lowers our interlocked bodies to my bed. He finally moves
his face from the safety of my hair, brushing the tip of his nose along the outline of my jaw until he looks up and finds my lips. His eyes are full of love and devotion and what followed is a moment of complete torture, as his mouth hovers above mine before he kisses me. It was all I ever dreamt of and more. This was Logan, my beloved, my unattainable desire, kissing me, stroking my lips with his delicious tongue, Logan's hands skimming over my bare legs in heavenly caresses. I tilt my head back, exposing my neck to lawless and passionate mouth and knocking the forgotten suitcase to the floor. I eye the open door as Logan lowers his mouth to dapple tender kisses to my heaving chest. I look down at him as I lift my legs to wrap around his waist, locking him between my thighs. I grin at the rose petals attached to my feet. He moves up, resting on an arm to embrace me with a stare as he runs a rough thumb over my hot lips and I shift beneath him, arching my back and pushing into him, overwhelmed by the beauty of a simple touch. I can't help but whimper as he runs a large hand down my neck, gliding over the slope of my breast to enticingly tease my hipbone with his fingertips. He brushes his face over mine once more before turning his mouth to my ear. As he extends a claw to knock the door shut, he whispers "I love you, Marie.' And I can't help it. My whole body seems to smile.

<See! What did I tell you? You should listen to me more often!!!!>