A soft breeze chased away the last clouds over the mansion, revealingthe clear blue sky of an early summer day. The air hummed with warmth,drying away the last dampness of an earlier rain, while on the lawn thegathered crowd chatted amicably.

"Congratulations, Logan, Rogue," Professor Xavier said, addressing thehappy couple who sat on a narrow bench, pressed closely into each other,receiving presents and good wishes while trying not to snuggle too obviouslyin public. The professor smiled to himself. After all, Logan had to becautious not to ruin his reputation.

"Yeah, chica. All the best." Jubilee chimed in.

Behind her, Kitty was still dabbing at her eyes. "The ceremony was soromantic. And now you'll be happy ever after."

"Thank you, everyone," Marie answered softly, but her eyes never lefther new husband. Logan, in turn, just nodded gruffly, but a warm smiletugged at the corners of his mouth while he absently stroked his youngwife's thigh. She found his eyes and smiled back at him, a brilliant, happysmile, her heart in her eyes for all the world to see.
"I'm sure we will."

With a sigh, Marie finished dusting her wedding picture and set it backon the shelf, then, as an afterthought, took it down and put it into herdesk drawer. Happily ever after hadn't worked out, might as well save thetime it took to dust the failed fairytale.

She gave her small room one last appraising look, nodding contentedlyto herself as she found everything clean, then put away the dust cloth and went into the bathroom to wash her hands. The coolspray of water was a relief on a day as hot as this one.

Marie regarded herself in the mirror and again thought back to anotherwarm summer day, a day several years ago when she had been younger andhad had a great many more illusions than she did now. With a frown, shewondered whether it was good or bad that that day was in the past, andthen, with a nod, decided once again that it was a good thing. Happilyever after hadn't worked out, might as well save the time to dwell on childishdreams.

But…it *was* their ten years anniversary today, or rather, it wouldhave been, if this day hadn't stopped being *their* day years ago. Sheturned off the tap and dried her hands. It was incredible how time rushedby, ten years, of which they had spent only four together. She stuck hertongue out at herself and thought of the people that had passed throughher life in the six years that had followed after those four, the lastof which had only left the day before. She sprinkled a little perfume behindher ears and between her breasts, only to catch herself with a snort whenshe realized she didn't have anyone to wear perfume for. Again. The questionof why she couldn't make any man stay with her, couldn't make herself staywith any man, crossed her mind and she shrugged, finding no answer to thatquestion, as always.

Ten years.
Happily ever after just didn't work for her, she decided resolutely.
With a firm set of her chin, she grabbed her jacket and went down tobreakfast.
 

"Hey," she greeted, as she sank down into the chair opposite his attheir table, managing for once not to spill coffee onto the polished woodensurface. She contemplated that little divergence from the norm with a frown,then shrugged it off along with her jacket and smirked to herself. Thesmall moments of success…

"Morning, darling," he answered, after swallowing a mouthful of scrambledeggs and bacon. He had always had a healthy appetite at breakfast, sherecalled, contrary to her own habits. Which was only one of the thingsthat didn't fit between us, she thought, only to be interrupted from hermusings by the loud growl coming from her stomach. Ah, yes, she hadn'tfinished dinner before walking out on her `boyfriend' last night. She glanceddown at her coffee, which was still *inside* the cup, and decided to makethis a day of differences.

"Mind if I have some of that egg?" she asked, gesturing at the platefilled to abundance with various choices of breakfast food.

Logan raised an eyebrow in his typical manner, but shook his head andpushed the plate to the center of the table to share with her. "You don't eat breakfast."

She shrugged and dug her fork into the egg. "Day of differences."

He glanced at her, then nodded knowingly. "You ditched him."

She snorted, but couldn't help her grin. "How would you know?"

He grinned back, and she absently wondered how they managed to finda topic like this funny, especially on an empty stomach. "Well, darling,been there, done that."

She chuckled and reached for a slice of bacon on his plate, gratefulthat in spite of everything that had happened between them, the phrase`let's stay friends' hadn't become meaningless. "We left each other, Logan."

"I know." He paused, looking at her with an unreadable expression. "It'sten years, today."

"I know." She met his gaze with a smile. "You know, since we're no longermarried, you don't have to keep track of our anniversary like all of thosepoor married men."

He smirked and glanced at Scott from the corner of his eye, before focusinghis attention on her again. "I like to. It was a happy time for us."

"Unlike when I threw that vase at you, or you tore the bathroom doorfrom the hinges because I had locked myself in there," she teased, remindinghim of only two of those less-than-pleasurable encounters, but her eyeswere soft. "It was."

He returned her gentle smile, and reached over the table to squeezeher hand. "Feeling melancholy today, darling?"

"I don't know." She poked at a piece of ham and sighed. "Logan…why can'tI be happy with anyone?"

He nudged her chin up slightly to make her look at him, and she flinchedat having someone touch her poison skin without gloves, before rememberingthat she had stopped being poisonous for him, at least with regard to herskin, long ago as a result of too many unprotected touches. But even thathadn't been enough to sustain their marriage.

She sighed. "You're right, I am melancholy today."

He smirked and stroked his thumb over her jaw for good measure. Sheflashed him a quick, grateful smile, knowing that he knew how much shecraved being touched. "Stop it; it doesn't suit you."

She frowned and stuck her tongue out at him as she had done to herselfearlier. "Answer the question, Mr. Evasion."

He grumbled a laugh at that and pinched her cheek, suddenly making herfeel like the girl she had been when he had found her. She smacked hishand away and rubbed the stinging flesh, almost expecting a `kid' whenhe opened his mouth again.
"Maybe you haven't been with the right one yet."

Strangely, and totally irrationally, she was hurt by that. After all,they weren't together any more. Anyways. "I always thought you were theone."

He regarded her silently, thoughtfully, until she felt the hurt easeaway, to be replaced by the calm resolve she had tried so hard to buildup after they'd discovered they were driving each other crazy. "I guessit just wasn't meant to be."

She had focused her attention on the eggs again when he spoke. "Whatif it was?"

Her fork clattered loudly as it hit the plate. "Logan, we were drivingeach other nuts."

He shrugged, and she wondered briefly if he had lost his memories again,conveniently forgetting about long nights of arguing over little things,about broken furniture and locked bathroom doors. "You were young. I hadissues. We weren't ready."

"And we are now?" She leaned across the table to look into his eyes,trying to determine whether he was joking or insane or maybe both, buthe merely shrugged and resumed eating as if he hadn't just made a statementthat completely floored her.

"Don't know. Just saying." He chewed thoughtfully, faced her calmly,while she struggled to regain her composure and put all those problematicfeelings back in the corner of her heart and mind where they belonged.Happily ever after didn't work. If only she hadn't asked for an answer,dammit… "Wanna try?"

"What?!" If the loud dropping of her fork earlier hadn't attracted allattention in the room, her incredulous shout surely made all heads snap around in their direction.

"Hush." Logan grinned at her over his cup of coffee, looking into hereyes and giving her the raised eyebrow again. Damn, but she had never beenable to resist that eyebrow, even though she knew it wasn't enough to builda relationship on, and neither was the fact that she was still attractedto him, still let him rock her world, as he did now.

"What are you saying?" she asked, calmer now.

"I'm saying that maybe our timing was bad. Maybe it's right now. Maybeit's not. But we could give it a try." He paused and she realized incredulouslythat he was serious. "Maybe we could go out tonight, like it really wasour anniversary, pretend a little, see what happens?"

She must have still been looking at him as if he'd grown a second head,because he huffed and squeezed her hand again. "I'm saying I'm lonely andthe last time I felt whole was with you, Marie," he added, almost inaudibly,and if it hadn't been for the healthy dose of his mutation she had acquiredover the years, she wouldn't have heard it, wouldn't have heard his specialway of saying her name, the name that she hadn't been addressed with ina long time. It stirred something in her, and she didn't know if she likedit, or if it would last.

"I don't know," she answered as quietly, her doubts obvious in her voice."I don't think it'll work."

He leaned back and looked at her squarely. "I don't know either." Thesmirk returned, and he picked up her fork and held it up for her. "Youused to like a risk."

After another moment of contemplation, she grasped the fork, and nodded."I do." She grinned back at him and dug into the food that was left onthe plate, with the distinct feeling that today, she was finally goinginsane. But it felt pretty good. Day of differences.
 

Two minutes after seven, a knock on her door heralded Logan's arrival,and she gave herself a quick once-over in the mirror again, only to chastiseherself for it a second later. This was Logan, her ex-husband and bestfriend, and she wouldn't add to the strangeness that was their relationshipby making tonight look like a real date.

When he entered, however, and gave a slow whistle as he saw her, shecouldn't stop the girly blush that colored her cheeks.
"Always liked you in black, darling," he said as he stepped close andgave her a kiss on the cheek, just a friendly peck, she reminded herself,even though her long untouched body struggled against her mind's rationalization.

She smoothed the black t-shirt she was wearing down and donned her gloveswhile glancing at him with a casualness she didn't feel. She cursed hersurging hormones, the nervous anticipation of going out with a man sheactually liked, and him for being so irresistibly sexy, and cleared herthroat.

"You look good, too." It was true, even though he was just wearing apair of faded blue jeans, and a black shirt. But after all, they were justgoing to a bar…just as they probably would have if they truly were celebratingtheir anniversary. They had never liked dressing up in fancy clothes andgoing to expensive restaurants - one of the few things they had in common,Marie recalled with a smirk.

"Why are you grinning?" He asked curiously, answering hers with a grinof his own. She found that she was actually looking forward to their evening.

"Just thinking about the way we dress for our `anniversary'. You evenwore jeans at our wedding." She giggled and received the raised eyebrowagain, which did all kinds of things to her she didn't want to think about.

"Is that why you took the picture down?" he asked, and she faltered,surprised that he had noticed, and even more so that he seemed to care.

"I just…well, it's over," she stated evenly, grabbing her purse andthrowing in money, keys, and spare gloves. She closed it quickly in ordernot to let him see what she had put in there earlier, wishing now thatshe hadn't added the condoms, because they made certain thoughts way tooeasy to think, and even easier to act on.

"Pretending, remember?" he said, walking over to her dresser and openingthe drawers until he found the picture. He set it onto the shelf againand regarded it for a few seconds before turning back to her and takingher arm. "A happily married couple like we are tonight would have a weddingpicture on their shelf."

She rolled her eyes and saved herself the time it'd take to tell himthat it wasn't *their* shelf, and that the whole thing wasn't a good ideaat all, and let him drag her from the room. She just hoped they wouldn'tend up in a mess, like so many times before.
 

"Wow. I haven't been here in years." Marie looked around the old barcuriously, noting that there had been a great many changes since she hadbeen there last. Sure, the rough interior still was there - dark woodentables and chairs - but there were more lights now, less dirty corners,less drunkards, and especially, the huge cage was missing. Instead, wherethe fighting area had been, a few couples swayed along with the music."It's…actually decent."

"It has changed." Logan sat down across from her and put her drink down,looking at her in a way that made her think he wasn't only talking aboutthe bar. After a few seconds, the intensity became too much for her, andshe looked down into the dark liquid, toying with her glass. "Why are youso tense, Marie?"

She started at his sudden, blunt question, her eyes snapping up to meethis gaze again. "I just…" she began to form an explanation, but then shookher head as if to clear her thoughts and decided that lying had never beennecessary between them, so why should she start now?

"I don't know what to think of this." She paused, and fumbled for anexplanation, then gave up and chose simple words. Their relationship hadnever been simple, might as well try to keep the confusion to a minimum,she thought with an inward snort. "I'm scared we'll end up yelling at eachother again. I don't think this will work."

He listened carefully, then sighed at her decisive tone. "We can try."

"Where are we supposed to start? There's about a million things we neverfound answers to, what makes you think we will now?" She huffed in frustration.That morning, her life had been simple. She was Rogue, former Mrs. Logan,X-Woman, single. Tonight, she suddenly was Marie again, somehow caughtin between being Mrs. Logan and not, not a bit of the usual strength andresolution that made her a valuable team member present.

"Don't start. Don't try. We'll do this differently," Logan interrupted,catching the hand that was drawing idle patterns on the smooth surfaceof the table and peeling off her glove. She drew in a sharp breath, andwhen she looked at him again, his gaze was sensual, loving, the way ithad been in those breathless moments of pleasure and sweat and moans, whenshe lay in his arms and they still loved. He raised her hand to his lipsand kissed her palm, then every fingertip. "Happy anniversary, darling."

She stared at him and thought that the conversation was quickly takinga run towards surreal. "Logan…"

"Just pretend, Marie. Tell me what you'd say if this had worked out."

She frowned for a moment in which reason told her that this was nota good idea, not at all, but then, when had she ever listened to reason?She took a deep breath and the second she made her choice, the words pouredout. "I love you, Logan." Her eyes widened in shock at her own voice, butat the same time, she felt a strange relief. She hadn't said it again,not to anyone, after they had broken up. She had missed saying it, missedfeeling the truth behind the words. But now, she did, even if it was justpretend, even if it was just a sweet memory of a time past.

"Love you too, Marie," he replied with an ease that almost made herbelieve it, almost made her feel like the wife who had been married tohim for ten years, like the woman he wanted to spend his life with. "Thatday ten years ago, that was the happiest I've ever been."

She drew in a deep breath as realization hit her, the realization thatthis wasn't pretend, this was real. It had been the happiest day for both of them, and in spite of everything that had come after,it still felt right. And from his expression, she read that he knew it. "Me too. I was so happy when I became your wife; I hadnever wanted anything else, from the day I met you."

He smiled, taking her other hand, too, and leaning across the tableuntil his lips almost brushed hers when he whispered to her. "I alwayswant to be with you, until the day I die."

A lump formed in her throat and choked her. She felt tears build inher eyes and tried to blink them away, but only succeeded in making themroll down her cheeks. She had never cried, not on the day they had firstfought loudly enough to wake the entire mansion, not on the day they satdown ever so calmly to agree that they were going to separate, not on theday she signed her divorce papers at the age of only 23. But she did now,big, wet tears that he wiped away with a gentle thumb. "That's what I wanttoo."

"Don't cry, baby." She giggled through her tears at his concerned voice.He had never been able to stand her being upset. Once she had loathed hisprotectiveness - when she had wanted to go out with Jubilee in skimpy clothing,when she had wanted to get drunk with her friends, when she had wantedto join the team. But now, all she wanted was to let his strength embraceher and take her pain and worries away.

"Logan…" With a loud sob, she was up and in his lap, her chair fallingback onto the floor loudly, while she snuggled against his broad chest,crying into his shirt for all she was worth.

"Shhh." He held her close, just as she remembered, but the strong tighteningof his arms around her that she had perceived as possessiveness and restraint years ago was nothing but welcome now,needed and given, and she suddenly realized that he had always been thisway with her. She had just been too young, too stupid, to see. And nowit was too late. It would never be like it had been before.

"I'm sorry." She didn't have any more words now, words to explain whatshe was sorry for, how many mistakes she had made, but he nodded and kissedher head, just the way he had when she was still untouchable to him.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have started this. I shouldn't have -"

"No!" Her fingers on his lips and her sharp cry made him stop mid-sentence,and he regarded her silently, waiting for an explanation she didn't knowshe could give. She just knew that she didn't want to give this up justyet, not again. "Just pretend a little more, OK? Just...don't stop justyet. I never understood."

"Neither of us did," he replied gently. "But I'm getting the idea now."

She gave him a watery smile. "Me too…don't stop. Make me feel like Ibelong to you just a little more, OK?"

His answering smile was easy and consuming all at once. She shiveredas he nudged her to get up from his lap and tossed a bill on the table."Let's get out of here."
 

Marie didn't know who had touched who first, or who had started thefirst kiss, but when she came back to her senses, she was lying snuggledclosely into Logan's side, her head resting on his chest. She basked inthe afterglow of a night of passion and her body, denied touch for toolong, still hummed with pleasure.

Regret bit at her sharply, the distinct feeling of having made anothermistake settling heavily in her stomach. She knew this wasn't real, knew their problems weren't gone, just lurking, waitingto attack when she let her guard down and believed again in what they had.But then she shook off the feeling, pushed it down into the darkest cornerof her mind and enjoyed the warmth that coursed through her body. "Hmmm…"

"What?" Logan's voice was still raspy and hoarse, and she giggled whileshe traced a meaningless pattern on his chest.

"Just thinking that this is one of the reasons why I love you so much."She glanced up and revelled in the sight of him, his hair a mess from her locking her fingers in it, sweaty and satiated, a playfulgrowl rumbling though his chest, and she realized she didn't want to stoppretending, ever.

From his expression, she read that neither did he. "And the others beingwhat?"

She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down into his handsomefeatures. "Hmm…first of all, you're a wonderful friend." She toyed withthe brown curls on his chest, enjoying the slide of her bare hands on hisskin, while she continued to speak. "Then, you're an amazing lover."

She was surprised when she felt herself blush, as if it was the firsttime she told him that, and then, with a frown, realized it was. He had been her first and certainly the best, but she had nevertold him, or rather, she hadn't even known. She hadn't had anything tocompare him to, nor the experience to know her own body intimately, andher own secret desires hadn't been much more than teenage fantasies.

He grinned and again, she felt a warm rush of pleasure, followed closelyby the bitter thought that this wasn't real, that she wasn't supposed tofeel all that, that so many things would never come true for them. Shesmiled sadly, but stayed true to her role. "You'll be a wonderful fatherto my babies."

That seemed to surprise him. "Babies?"

"Yeah." She shrugged with a lightness she didn't feel. "Babies. Afterall, we've been married for ten years, so maybe we should talk about babies."

He nodded slowly, giving her a heated look that made her realize thatthe conversation was slipping from her control, and soon, there would beno more time for talking. Yet, she couldn't stop it, nor did she want to.She just wanted to say one more thing she never had gotten to say. "I neverstopped loving you, Logan."

He gazed down at her for a long moment, nodded, then rolled her ontoher back and pressed his lips to hers. The time for talking was over.
 

When she woke, Marie could see dawn rising behind the closed curtains,a soft glow that heralded yet another warm summer day, and this time, shecouldn't suppress the harsh feeling of regret that claimed her. She didn'twant to feel bad for something she had enjoyed so much, *needed* so much,but she knew that she should never have done this, never have been Logan'swife again - even if it was just in their imagination - because it hurt.

It hurt, because now she knew what she was missing, which, strangelyenough, she hadn't realized when she had left him, divorced him, been onlyhis friend. Yet, she couldn't feel sorry that they had separated. It hadbeen right. They hadn't known each other, hadn't been ready for each other,hadn't loved each other the way it was supposed to be.

The way she loved him now.

It wasn't true that she had never stopped loving him. She had only juststarted to really love him, understand him, feel him, do right by him andby herself. But now it was too late. All they had left was pretending anda few happy memories from days long gone. She heaved a sigh and again felttears gather in her eyes. She wondered briefly when she had become so sensitive,when she'd never cried at anything life threw at her, then decided to shrugit off like all the other things she didn't have answers to. Pulling backthe blanket, she wriggled out of Logan's embrace and walked over to thebathroom without looking back at him.
 

When she came back out, showered and dressed and ready to discard thenight as a happy bad dream, he was up and sitting on the edge of the bed,waiting for her with a questioning smile. She sighed and avoided his eyes,crossing the room to pick up her scarf and gloves from the desk.

"Hey," he greeted after a few minutes of silence, obviously confused."Where are you going?"

"Downstairs," she answered shortly, trying to make this as quick aspossible, like a band aid, ripped off quickly instead of the agonizingly slow peeling.

He seemed to sense her mood then and frowned. "What about last night?"

"What about it?" She tried to sound indifferent, tried to forget thefevered touches, the cries of pleasure he had wrung from her body, hiswhispered words and promises, and failed.

"Marie." In two short steps, he had crossed the distance between them,and grabbed her by her upper arms. "What about love? Friendship? Passion?"He paused and turned her to look at him. "Babies?"

"Pretending," she answered, even though she knew it wasn't true. Butreality was even harder than saying it hadn't been real. Reality was thatit *was* real, but it wouldn't come true. She shuddered as she felt thefirst hot tears flow down her cheeks, and looked down so as not to lethim see. "Just…pretending."

"Why not let it come true?" he asked quietly, and she could feel hisanguish as clearly as her own.

"It wouldn't work. It didn't work in the first place." She pulled awayfrom him and moved to stand at the window, anywhere, but not that painfullyclose to him. Of course he didn't let her go, but followed to stand behindher.

He snorted incredulously. "You would really let that stand between us?"

At that, her head snapped up in exasperation. "It's a damn good reason,isn't it?"

He huffed, turning her and taking her hands, absently stroking her palms."Marie, you were too young, too inexperienced. God, you were barely eighteenwhen we got married." He seemed to think for a moment, before he continued."And I was still too caught up in my past, in dealing with what I foundand what I didn't…I didn't give you what you needed."

At that, she shook her head vehemently, tears once again springing toher eyes. "You did. I just never…I never understood what I had, what yougave me. I was stupid, I…"

"Then let's just start over, deal with our issues, try to make it workthis time…why won't you do that?" She didn't answer, just shook her headin time with the heaving sobs coming from her throat. "Marie, I never stoppedloving you. I never gave up dreaming. Just…our timing was bad."

"And if it's not just that?" Her desperate cry stopped his gentle pleading."Logan…I'm scared. It didn't work the last time, why should it now? What if we end up yelling and throwing things at eachother again? And then we'll have to patch everything up again, our lives,our friendship…Just because you're giving me butterflies in my stomachdoesn't mean…"

And then she realized that he truly was the only man who had ever hadthat effect on her, and that he was the only who ever would. Even throughbroken vases and torn doors, ten years and a day, there was still the uniquefeeling that only he could give her.

"It's meant to be, Marie. We just don't always realize. But even ifwe decide to end it, even if we throw things at each other, it'll stillbe true." He gathered her close and whispered to her the same way he alwayshad, calming, soothing. "Even if we don't understand it, it's there. AndI think we've gotten a glimpse now."

She parted from him slightly to look up into his eyes and smiled. Shewasn't the same, and he wasn't either. Happily ever after hadn't workedout, but maybe that was why they were here; it was why they were *them*.And then, she always had liked a risk.

She didn't know if it would work. She didn't know how it would end.But she had a feeling they wouldn't need to pretend ever again.