Lookin' back on the things I've done
I was trying to be some one
-- Backstreet Boys: Shape Of My Heart
 

Twenty-five years.Twenty-five! My god, where has it all gone. The people who tell you life begins at forty...they're lying. And anyone who said fifty is a prime age...well, they're lying too. I'm fifty. My god. I never thought I would here myself say that. My daughter is twenty now and my two sons are nineteen (twins). How did I get here so fast? It was only yesterday Jean and I were on the X-Men fighting Magneto. Now we're old, have three wonderful mutant children, Jean has her own practice, and I have a bestseller entitled "How To Be A Hero!" Yeah, I know. Logan had a field day with that one as well.

But as anyone who is old and basically retired, I look back on my days fighting for the X-Men and wonder if it was all worth it. The future didn't exactly turn out the way we had hoped. Mutants have to register now, but it isn't that bad. We are allowed to live normal lives, and most of the dissent against mutants has faded. So every morning I kiss my beautiful wife goodbye as she goes to work and I spend my mornings at my computer writing. It became a hobby of mine to write about all of our missions. Ororo always joked that one day I'd get them published. I dedicate every book to her.

Let me tell everyone who wishes they could stay home all the time...it sucks! Twenty-five years ago I was a superhero with a superhero life. Normal life doesn't even begin to compare. Every waking moment I long for the days when we were fighting the bad guys, rescuing people, saving the world from evil mutants! My dreams are filled with our missions.

But even if I wasn't some old has-been, I couldn't fight anyway. The X-Men don't exist any more. Yeah, that's right. After a good ten-year run as their leader, everything kind of fell apart. We all went separate ways. The need to belong in society was too great. Truth is though, after a while I began to realize there wasn't a need for us any more. I remember a very distraught Rogue asking me a question once. It was after a very difficult fight...

"Why do we do this, Scott?"

"Do what,Rogue? Save the world? Try to fit in?" I stare at the young women before me. Five years she's been an X-Man, and one of my best fighters.

"Yes, all of that. Every day we bust our asses trying to save the lives of those who hate us. I know why we do it, but is it worth it? Are we actually making a difference, or are we just wasting our sweat and blood?"

I didn't know how toanswer her then. Five years after that conversation the X-Men flew their last mission.

Jean is always telling me that we were fighting for a good cause, and we did make a difference. She tells me I was a wonderful leader and admired by everyone at the school. Well, except maybe Logan, and yes, the students did kind of think of me as a dork, and well, maybe I was.

After that conversation with Rogue I started thinking about why we were fighting also. Looking back now, we didn't stop anything. The mutant laws were passed, Magneto still lives, and many humans are still wary of us. We fought for over ten years to make a difference and we didn't.

At least we get to live our normal lives now. As I said, Jean has her own practice, and we have the three kids. I asked her to marry me twenty-one years ago. I made the mistake of asking Logan to be my best man, but I sure as hell will never forget the whole event. I never knew Logan could dance like that!

Ororo is still at Xavier's School For The Gifted. Just because the X-Men don't exist any more doesn't mean we would have closed the school. You see, even though we have to register, there are still mutants whose powers are very dangerous. Most of those people attend the school. Ororo is in charge and makes a wonderful teacher. She ended up marrying that Cajun, Gambit. Amazingly enough, Logan and I agreed on an opinion about this guy- we didn't like him. But he treats her right so I mind my business. Plus he was a hell of a fighter.

Xavier died some years back. That's why Storm is in charge. We all came back for the funeral. First time we had all been together in over ten years. It was a sad reunion, but Jean enjoyed seeing everyone. The Professor died in his sleep, peacefully. Storm told me that everyone in the house woke up the instant he died. He had sent out a projection of the X-Men fighting together. Silence was the response to that piece of knowledge. The man never gave up his dream. I feel almost guilty for abandoning him to lead my own life. He had wanted me to give his eulogy at the funeral. I told Logan to do it. I had abandoned the Professor; I had no right to speak at his funeral. Logan, being the arrogant son of a bitch that he is, made me do it any way.

Logan, amazingly enough, stayed with the X-Men longer than I did. After he had been gone for a year and a half, he came back, on my beloved bike and stayed. Once he chose to join the X-Men, the team gained the greatest asset it ever got. I mean, I knew he could fight, but damn. Remind me to not get him angry when he visits again. But Logan also felt the need to leave and live a normal life. He and Marie live up in Alaska now. They have two kids of their own. A boy and girl. She learned to control her powers about twenty years ago.

Logan and Marie own a martial arts institute, and they turned their house into a safe house for runaways. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Logan! A safe house! Well, make no mistake, he isn't soft -- he's still the hard-ass we all now and love, but Marie softened him up a little...and let me just tell you, I have never seen a man as in love with his wife as Logan is with Marie!

The rest of the old team still stays at the school to teach. Bobby and St. John are, and I quote, "Just about the hottest old guys and the coolest teachers!" My daughter told me that five years ago when she was going there. Jubilee and Kitty teach too. I never thought we would be able to get them away from the mall long enough to talk to them about their futures, but they turned out to be great adults. They are very dedicated to the school, and its inhabitants.

As for me, I am happy. Life turned out as it should have for all of us. I still look back on those days when I was younger, and I can feel the hunger for adventure rise in me. I don't think I will ever get used to retirement. Jean informed me that in five years she'll join me in this bliss. Maybe I can convince her to let me take her on safari or something.

My boys asked me once why I fought for those who would rather see me branded. I told them I was tryin' to be someone, tryin' to make a difference. They asked me if I had, and I just smiled and told them to go to bed -- it was late.